Dessert
(Shameless bragging: I made this!)
So let's do a brief review of this metaphor comparing a healthy dating relationship to a fine dining, 5 course meal: We've discussed the Appetizer; a small, first taste of the savory, heartier elements of a relationship- a time when our appetites are whetted for the rest of the meal. Next came the Salad course; crisp, light, refreshing, uncomplicated- the part of the relationship when we enjoy each other and have fun. Right in the middle I introduced the Intermezzo; a very small dose of bittersweet sourness to cleanse the palate- the point in a relationship when we encounter potential issues and decide whether to continue on or leave the table. After that came the Entree, or main course; hearty, filling, multifaceted- here is when all the elements of the previous courses meet each other in one place, and some combination of the routine and the flavorful hopefully create satisfaction. This all brings us to many people's favorite course, the Dessert.
When a couple reaches the "end" of the entree, they are yet again faced with the choice to find themselves full and unwilling to move forward, or to order dessert and commit to the full experience of the meal. Dessert only comes to couples who decide to commit- it's the wedding cake. Ideally, a person only orders dessert once. You can take the metaphor wherever you please from here, to say that you've "committed to the restaurant" or whatever. My preference is to say that when you order dessert, you are saying that you want (literally and metaphorically) to have all the rest of your meals for the rest of your life with this person. I know I'm not really digging too deeply into the mechanics of the dessert course, and this may have to do with the fact that it's the only course I have yet to taste- I will do my best (but only briefly) to outline what I DO know.
Dessert is fun. It's sweet. It's exciting, because if you've gotten through 4 courses and you still have room for it, that's purely because you wanted it! It's what we celebrate with and mark special occasions with because Dessert is inherently special! It's actually pretty rare, if you think about it- most meals do NOT end in Dessert- mostly just the really special ones, and the ones you approach intending to end them that way.
NOW for the moment you've ALL been waiting for, I'll reveal my super-secret-mind-blowing metaphorical concept that will tie this whole series up so nicely and perfectly, you will likely find yourself saying "nicely done!" to noone in particular, or at the very least raising your eyebrows and twitching your mouth towards a brief smile as you read to yourself, much as you do before you type "lol" to people. I'm going to let you guess what it is: What is the ONE thing that is a part of EVERY COURSE of EVERY MEAL you EVER EAT in your life? What is the one thing without which, you would have a hard time getting past the BREAD in the middle of your table muchless through 5 courses? Think about it.....
...
...
...
...
...
...
Beverages.
I know, I know, you're thinking "ooooh, that makes perfect sense.... but Suzy, that didn't exactly blow my mind...." just a little more patience and I promise it'll be worth it:
Up until this point a person could easily read this metaphor and all my previous posts and wonder to themselves why I would limit my metaphor from the get-go to only a description of a healthy Christian dating relationship. THIS- this is why.
The beverages are God.
I know- BOOM. :P
You might make it through the bread, the entree, even the salad without a sip of water- it might not even bother you (too much) though I would argue you'll have a less enjoyable experience overall. But just you try to make it through a whole meal without something to drink- nothing before, nothing after. It's not impossible, but it's a pretty crappy experience. And now take into account that I'm talking about the Best Meal of Your Life! If you really want to have the penultimate dining experience, there will be water on the table the moment you sit down, the first thing you're asked for is a drink order, you might have a soda or a beer with your calamari appetizer, water or soda with your salad and intermezzo, a nice wine with your entree, and champagne to celebrate your dessert. So it should be with your relationship- you should have God as a part of it before you even begin. Prayer is what will sustain you- If you have something to eat but nothing to drink, you will die much, much sooner than if you have water but no food. So it is with God. If you are focused on God and keeping prayer as a constant part of your emotional "diet", you will survive with few or even no other relationships for a time. This is a great moment for me to back up my metaphor with some of the original material from the greatest parable-teller of all time:
"Jesus answered, 'Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.'
When a couple reaches the "end" of the entree, they are yet again faced with the choice to find themselves full and unwilling to move forward, or to order dessert and commit to the full experience of the meal. Dessert only comes to couples who decide to commit- it's the wedding cake. Ideally, a person only orders dessert once. You can take the metaphor wherever you please from here, to say that you've "committed to the restaurant" or whatever. My preference is to say that when you order dessert, you are saying that you want (literally and metaphorically) to have all the rest of your meals for the rest of your life with this person. I know I'm not really digging too deeply into the mechanics of the dessert course, and this may have to do with the fact that it's the only course I have yet to taste- I will do my best (but only briefly) to outline what I DO know.
Dessert is fun. It's sweet. It's exciting, because if you've gotten through 4 courses and you still have room for it, that's purely because you wanted it! It's what we celebrate with and mark special occasions with because Dessert is inherently special! It's actually pretty rare, if you think about it- most meals do NOT end in Dessert- mostly just the really special ones, and the ones you approach intending to end them that way.
NOW for the moment you've ALL been waiting for, I'll reveal my super-secret-mind-blowing metaphorical concept that will tie this whole series up so nicely and perfectly, you will likely find yourself saying "nicely done!" to noone in particular, or at the very least raising your eyebrows and twitching your mouth towards a brief smile as you read to yourself, much as you do before you type "lol" to people. I'm going to let you guess what it is: What is the ONE thing that is a part of EVERY COURSE of EVERY MEAL you EVER EAT in your life? What is the one thing without which, you would have a hard time getting past the BREAD in the middle of your table muchless through 5 courses? Think about it.....
...
...
...
...
...
...
Beverages.
I know, I know, you're thinking "ooooh, that makes perfect sense.... but Suzy, that didn't exactly blow my mind...." just a little more patience and I promise it'll be worth it:
Up until this point a person could easily read this metaphor and all my previous posts and wonder to themselves why I would limit my metaphor from the get-go to only a description of a healthy Christian dating relationship. THIS- this is why.
The beverages are God.
I know- BOOM. :P
You might make it through the bread, the entree, even the salad without a sip of water- it might not even bother you (too much) though I would argue you'll have a less enjoyable experience overall. But just you try to make it through a whole meal without something to drink- nothing before, nothing after. It's not impossible, but it's a pretty crappy experience. And now take into account that I'm talking about the Best Meal of Your Life! If you really want to have the penultimate dining experience, there will be water on the table the moment you sit down, the first thing you're asked for is a drink order, you might have a soda or a beer with your calamari appetizer, water or soda with your salad and intermezzo, a nice wine with your entree, and champagne to celebrate your dessert. So it should be with your relationship- you should have God as a part of it before you even begin. Prayer is what will sustain you- If you have something to eat but nothing to drink, you will die much, much sooner than if you have water but no food. So it is with God. If you are focused on God and keeping prayer as a constant part of your emotional "diet", you will survive with few or even no other relationships for a time. This is a great moment for me to back up my metaphor with some of the original material from the greatest parable-teller of all time:
"Jesus answered, 'Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.'
The woman said to him, 'Sir, give me this water so that I won’t get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water.'" ~John 4:13-15 (The Bible, NIV translation).
I'll let you mull this over now, I welcome your feedback (positive and negative) in the comments or by email. Thank you for reading, please share this blog if you like what you're getting!
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