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Thursday, September 26, 2013

A Delectable Dilemma

Dear Suzy,

I recently bought an enormous jar- no, barrel- of Nutella at Costco, BECAUSE I COULD. Now that the euphoria of my awesome deal has worn off a touch, WHAT am I going to DO with this glorious bounty of hazelnutty goodness?!?!?


Salivating,
Forsythe P. Jones



Dear Jughead,
I'm going to do this post list-style, and then you can ask for any recipes you'd like to try in the comments:

  1. Frozen-nutella-dipped-banana-on-a-stick
  2. Nutella Fondue
  3. Nutella stuffed french toast
  4. Nutella filled begnets
  5. Ennumerable non-PG sexy applications I won't list here
  6. Nutella filled croissants
  7. Nutella mascarpone filling for cannolis
  8. Warm Nutella over ice cream
  9. Nutella Popsicles
  10. Nutella truffles
  11. Nutella cream Pie
  12. Fruit tarts with Nutella cream filling
  13. Nutella funnel cake
  14. Nutella Pancakes/Waffles
  15. Just plunge your whole hand into the jar like Winnie the Pooh does with a jar of honey
  16. Nutella buttercream for a cake
  17. Baked Brie with Nutella
  18. Nutella cake
  19. Nutella Cheesecake
  20. Nutella chocolate Milk
  21. Peanut Butter and Nutella sandwich (best on toast)
  22. Nutella Bread
  23. Nutella Mocha
  24. A hot grilled cheese sandwich with a gooey milder cheese such as havarti or fresh mozzarella is delicious when dipped in Nutella
  25. Pretzels & Nutella
  26. Nutella Brownies
  27. Nutella Cookies (optionally with toffee or hazelnut chips)
  28. Nutella Souffle
  29. Nutella Monkey Bread
  30. Nutella Italian Egg Cream
  31. Nutella Egg Nog
  32. Nutella and strawberry sandwich
  33. Nutella and Banana sandwich
  34. Frozen Nutella Dipped Pineapple
  35. Nutella Empanadas
  36. Nutella Fruit Pizza
  37. Peanut Butter Nutella Mousse Pie
  38. Nutella Crepe Station
  39. Nutella S'mores
  40. Nutella as a dip for a Monte Cristo Sandwich
  41. Nutella Biscotti
  42. Nutella Molten Cake
  43. Nutella and pear filled Filo pastries
  44. Nutella French Toasted Quesadilla
  45. Nutella Pots du Creme
  46. Nutella Creme Brulee
  47. Nutella Scones
  48. Nutella 'Nana Puddin'
  49. Nutella Oatmeal
  50. Nutella Filled Cream Puffs/ Eclairs

There are so many more, but hopefully I've given you a few ideas to try for now. This post is a little shorter, but only because I anticipate your requests for recipes in the comments section, so I'll see you there!

Please write to me with your questions about recipes, romance, relationships, family, life... anything! Just click the "email us" link on the right hand side of the page, or email me at asksuzyadvice@gmail.com.



Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Overcoming Heartbreak: (Part III) The Spiritual

If you've been following my trilogy on Overcoming Heartbreak, you're here to read about the Spiritual aspect of overcoming heartbreak, which is really the most important side. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, feel free to scroll down to read the previous two posts which outline the Rational and Practical sides of the issue.

If it isn't obvious yet, this post will be strongly God-centric, so there's your disclaimer. I hope that even if you aren't "very religious" that you will read on, because there is so much great comfort and wisdom in scriptures, whether you "usually buy into it" or not- it may be a happy surprise to find relief for your heartbreak in an unexpected place.

I'll begin this by giving you the scriptural justifications for the advice I dished out for the Rational and Practical sides of this very quickly. Highlighted in blue like this are verses I strongly recommend memorizing, so that you can recall them whenever they are needed (yes, I know they're all good, these are just exceptionally applicable).

1. Be near people
"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!" (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)

2. Find People to Lean On
"As Iron sharpens Iron, so one man sharpens another." (Proverbs 27:17)

"Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ" (Galatians 6:2)

"Let us not give up meeting together... but let us encourage one another" (Hebrews 10:25)

3. Get Moving, Be Active, Go Outside:
"Light is sweet, and it pleases the eyes to see the sun" (Ecclesiastes 11:7)

"Physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come" (1 Timothy 4:8)

4. Give and Serve:
"A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed" 
(Proverbs 11:25)

"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you" (Ephesians 4:32)

"Encourage one another and build each other up" (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

5. You'll Never Completely Forget, but That's OK:
"Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will bring me up" (Psalm 71:20)

"We do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all" (2 Corinthians 4:16-17)

"We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us" (Romans 5:3-5)

6. Don't Dwell, but Don't Run Away- Grieve and then Move On:
"Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy" (Psalm 126:5)

"There is a time for everything... a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance" (Ecclesiastes 3:1,4)

"I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me... This I call to mind and therefore I have hope" (Lamentations 3:19-20, 21)

7. Reclaim Your Joy- Don't Let Hurt or Bitterness Color the Things You Love:
"Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things" (Philippians 4:8)

"See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many" (Hebrews 12:15)

So, what comfort can you have in God? Why should you turn to scripture and prayer when you are gripped with heartbreak and hurt?

"...everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the scriptures we might have hope" (Romans 15:4)

Hope. Hope and Joy are the difference between those who turn to faith in rough times, and those who turn to other sources of distraction or medication. 
  • He brings rest and security

"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge" (Psalm 62:5-7)
  • He gives patience and contentment: 

"If we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently" (Romans 8:25)
  • He gives Boldness, Courage and Assurance

"You have been my hope, O sovereign Lord, my confidence since my youth" (Psalm 71:5)

"Since we have such a hope, we are very bold" (2 Corinthians 3:12)

"I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death" (Philippians 1:20)

  • He gives Joy, Perseverance and Comfort:
"May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord, even as we put our hope in you" (Psalm 33:22)

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer" (Romans 12:12)

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit" 
(Psalm 34:18)
  • Take joy in the knowledge that God has a plan and a purpose for your life:
"In Him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will" (Ephesians 1:11)

  • And He is Faithful, he isn't going anywhere:
"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness... The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him" (Lamentations 3:22-23, 25)

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit" 
(Psalm 34:18)

  • There is soooo much more comfort to be had from the Bible, but to wrap this up:
"Praise be to God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have recieved from God" (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Overcoming Heartbreak: (Part II) The Rational

The Rational

Continuing my trilogy on overcoming all kinds of heartbreak, today I will explore the rational side of recovery. If you missed part 1, just scroll down to the previous post to get caught up.

What does Rational mean?

According to dictionary.reference.com

ra·tion·al 

adjective
1.
agreeable to reasonreasonable; sensible
2.
having or exercising reason, sound judgment, or good sense
3.
being in or characterized by full possession of one's reason; sane; lucid
4.
endowed with the faculty of reason
5.
of, pertaining to, or consulting reasoning powers

This is a major factor in heartbreak, as I'm sure you can guess, because hurt makes us feel a little bit crazy. We feel out of our element, out of our senses, and out of touch with our "usual" selves. So how can find our footing in the real world again?

First, remember that while this feels totally special and exclusive to you, that nobody else could possibly know just what you're going through, you're not alone, you're not the first person that has ever felt this way. I am aware that this isn't exactly a consolation for 99% of you, but it's important to establish that baseline so that you realize, the statements I am making to help all sorts of people may be able to help you, too! So just give them a try, what'll it hurt?

Next, let's talk for a second about a reaction I have seen consistently from every person I've seen hurt, including myself- Reading Significance Into EVERYTHING! If you are heartbroken because of a loss of someone through death, read the following blue paragraph before continuing. If you are not, feel free to skip down to the rest of the purple.

Now, if you are dealing with an "organic" heartbreak, such as the death of a loved one, significant dates, places and objects will be important to  keep your loved one in memory. Unfortunately, that is the effect that significance has on everything. Even when dealing with healthy, natural grief, it can and will eventually stunt your emotional and rational progress through the stages of grieving if you fail to identify when you are dwelling excessively. So RATIONALLY what you need to do is identify a handful of significant things, like a keepsake, anniversary, birth-date, death-date, one or two special places that hold meaning. The key word here is handful; if you've ever watched the show Hoarders, that is a physical representation of what happens in our hearts, minds, and sometimes our houses when we feel we can not dare dissociate our loved one from every single object that initially reminds us of them. Keep their memory, but remember that they probably would want you to move on with your life, and enjoy the time you have without them if you can. So gradually take rational steps towards remembering them sweetly when you see that baseball hat on your dresser, or put that necklace on in the morning, or when you realize it's their birthday, and then go outside and live your own life completely and happily, in honor of that memory.

For those of you dealing with heartbreaks more along the lines of a broken relationship, be it romantic or close friend, I'm about to give you a step by step plan. We all have those times where it seems like everything reminds us of them; that's the coffee shop where we had our second date, that's the song that was on the radio when we said I love you for the first time, He loves the Dallas Cowboys and now I can't stand to stay in the city for fear of being reminded of that, her favorite color is blue and now I want to cry all over again every time I see anyone in a blue shirt, WHY CAN'T EVERYBODY JUST STOP WEARING BLUE FOREVER!? You can see where it gets irrational, but it's an amazingly fine line! Now prepare yourself- this is a practice in disciplined rationality and self control! It only works if you want it to. 

~ The object is to systematically lower the significance of the more every-day reminders you have in your life of whatever is causing you hurt.

1. Start with realizing that you will never erase your memory, and that's a good thing- someday, some of those memories will be sweet without hurting, too. 

2. When you come to a point where you want to avoid something because it reminds you of your loss, stop yourself- don't let yourself dwell, and don't run away. Let yourself feel that initial zing of emotion and hurt in your chest, and then be conscious of its fading away as you come to terms with whatever significance you just recognized. 

3. Now ask yourself a couple of questions:

  • Did I like this before it was associated with this person?
  • Would I have liked this if I had found it without this person?
  • Would I have to significantly change my habits or way of life to avoid this reminder?
  • Do I have any positive associations with this momentum that are not related to this person?
4. If the answer to any of the above is yes, work on realizing that it is worth removing the significance of this particular person. If you liked it before, it's YOURS! Don't let your heartbreak take that enjoyment from you! If it's a television show, watch some new episodes you never watched with them, so that you have your own independent experience to cite when you consider your opinion of it. If it's a restaurant or a place you enjoy visiting, make a date to meet someone different, a friend or sister or brother, even a business associate, at that place- remove the sentimental significance so that it becomes, once again, a restaurant you happen to like. 

I have a favorite coffee shop that I happened to go to on my first date with my most recent boyfriend. I remember when I instinctively went to go there to study a few weeks after we broke up, I almost turned around and had to sit in the parking lot for a few minutes to soak in the flood of sweet memories that came over me of that night. Finally, though, I thought- this was my favorite place before I told him about it, and sure, I had my first date with him over in that corner, but I also had an important conversation with "Jane" at that other table, and talked to a stranger about my faith in that chair over there, and I've flirted with the barristas over that counter every time for the last 2 years! This is MY place, not mine and his! And while I still have fleeting thoughts of him sometimes when I sit in that particular corner, I acknowledge it and then let it go, and enjoy my coffee.

5. Significant dates are impossible to avoid. It will not help your life to sour your mood for the whole day or stay in bed. But the funny thing about significant dates is, there's usually some other significance they can represent and share! When your anniversary date comes around post-breakup, don't stay home moping, look Facebook to see if any of your friends have a birthday that day- now it's not "the day that used to be your anniversary" it's "so and so's birthday". If there is no alternative significance to be had, MAKE A NEW MEMORY!!!!! Instead of sulking and perpetuating the misery of that day by adding more and more negative associations to it, call up a friend and go do something new that you've never done before or don't do often enough. Then, next year, when that day rolls around and the memory of that relationship tries to tug on your sleeve, you can immediately be reminded that that was why you went out that night and had a blast rollerblading with your friend Steve.

And finally, learn to find a bit of humor in those things you attach significance to. I once started feeling nostalgic about a guy I was never even all that attached to because I was driving a road I had only ever taken before to get to his house. Then I realized how silly it was to associate emotional significance to a chunk of the interstate! Once you get to where you can find a little humor, the hurt will instantly fade.

Tune in tomorrow for The Spiritual side of recovery.