Now, for the purposes of this metaphor, I've chosen to only compare this stage of a relationship to the Salad option for a second course. I do this purely for simplicity's sake, because I could make the exact same comparisons with slightly different adjective choices, and ultimately be unnecessarily redundant for the sake of beating a nice metaphor into the ground just to be more literally accurate, but it really doesn't appeal to me. So if anyone just likes soup better, they can give their imaginations a much needed stretch, or request my alternative adjectives in the comments and I will oblige. Onward!
Salad
The salad course is VITAL to a perfect meal. Whether it's a medley of seasonal fruits with a light, citrus and yogurt vinaigrette, arugula and spinach greens with dried cranberries, walnuts, a robust, crumbly cheese and a sweet dressing, or cold, crisp romaines with garlic croutons and a creamy Parmesan dressing... (uhh, whew, sorry, got myself a little hungry there- I'll just get myself something to eat so I can remember the point I was making)... Ahh, right- salad- anyway, regardless of what kind it is, every salad has essential characteristics which only that course can contribute to a meal. When you think of a great salad, it invokes words like light, simple, crisp, fresh, not-too-heavy, flavorful, tangy, zippy, refreshing, and guilt-free.
These words should apply to the second stage of a budding, quality relationship. Salad is the actual going on dates part of dating- and it is vitally important and grossly underrated (perhaps I'm enjoying the italics button too much, but the emphasis is sincere!). If you can't actually spend a whole afternoon with each other without being deep and heavy, and enjoy each other, you'll eventually burn out on the relationship like when you eat way too much rich food and have no desire to order dessert. The salad has the perfect timing in the meal, between the first tastes of hearty goodness and the heavier, meat-and-potatoes focal point. If you go straight from eating buffalo wings to plowing into your steak, you're going to fill up and quit before you finish your meal. Backing off my brilliant metaphor for a moment, this stage in the relationship really will contribute to its success or eventual breakdown. Whether it's early in your time together, or much later on down the line, there will come a point when all the heavy dramas that brought you together and kept you together, or even just the intense, deep emotions that you had from the very beginning start to subside, and you look up at each other and wonder "was that all we had? Can we be anything without drama and intensity?" So often the answer to this question is no. That is (in my humble opinion) usually a direct result of rushing through or skipping the salad altogether. When we have taken the time early on in the relationship to enjoy each other, laugh with each other, play and be light, simple, refreshing for each other, when the heavy times eventually settle down or subside, we can look at each other and say, "now that we know each other, let's think back and remember how fun we can be together, and how excited we can be about each other." It initiates a really healthy cycle of light, zippy enjoyment of each other and deep, hearty support and understanding- a well balanced relationship. BUT don't jump too far ahead! There are 3 more courses to come, and that super important, extra special, most-essential element that I KNOW you haven't forgotten because the suspense is KILLING you! In the meantime, if you're in a relationship, reflect on when you had your salad- and whether it's coming time to enjoy it again.
These words should apply to the second stage of a budding, quality relationship. Salad is the actual going on dates part of dating- and it is vitally important and grossly underrated (perhaps I'm enjoying the italics button too much, but the emphasis is sincere!). If you can't actually spend a whole afternoon with each other without being deep and heavy, and enjoy each other, you'll eventually burn out on the relationship like when you eat way too much rich food and have no desire to order dessert. The salad has the perfect timing in the meal, between the first tastes of hearty goodness and the heavier, meat-and-potatoes focal point. If you go straight from eating buffalo wings to plowing into your steak, you're going to fill up and quit before you finish your meal. Backing off my brilliant metaphor for a moment, this stage in the relationship really will contribute to its success or eventual breakdown. Whether it's early in your time together, or much later on down the line, there will come a point when all the heavy dramas that brought you together and kept you together, or even just the intense, deep emotions that you had from the very beginning start to subside, and you look up at each other and wonder "was that all we had? Can we be anything without drama and intensity?" So often the answer to this question is no. That is (in my humble opinion) usually a direct result of rushing through or skipping the salad altogether. When we have taken the time early on in the relationship to enjoy each other, laugh with each other, play and be light, simple, refreshing for each other, when the heavy times eventually settle down or subside, we can look at each other and say, "now that we know each other, let's think back and remember how fun we can be together, and how excited we can be about each other." It initiates a really healthy cycle of light, zippy enjoyment of each other and deep, hearty support and understanding- a well balanced relationship. BUT don't jump too far ahead! There are 3 more courses to come, and that super important, extra special, most-essential element that I KNOW you haven't forgotten because the suspense is KILLING you! In the meantime, if you're in a relationship, reflect on when you had your salad- and whether it's coming time to enjoy it again.
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