I've come to a point where there is a bit of a lull in the number of questions I've been receiving from my readers, so I will take time this week to write a few more "opinion" and "helpful tips" blogs while I wait for you, my dear, faithful followers, to write in with your questions. In case you've only begun reading recently, I'll remind you that I'll be happy to answer your questions about anything, from food to hygiene, romance to friendship, spirituality to household chores, literature to philosophy, budgeting to art, and on and on. Don't get me wrong, I don't think I know everything, but I know a lot of people who know a lot of things, and if ever I am in doubt about my knowledge of a subject, I'll be sure to say so, and do my best to recommend a better source for the information. To send in your questions, just click the handy "Email us" link on the right hand side of the page, or open a new window and send your question to asksuzyadvice@gmail.com. Thank you!
This is the first installment of a few "Life Hack" blogs I will be posting intermittently over the coming months.
Urban Dictionary defines a Life Hack as "Any hacks, tips and tricks that get things done quickly by automating, increase productivity and organizing." The only thing I'll add to this definition is that they're also tips and tricks that can help you do everyday things better and more effectively with little added effort. Today I'll be giving you a simple list of highly effective Life Hacks that should improve your every day personal interactions with immediate results. WARNING: Some of these hacks will require a new level of self-awareness that may cause brief discomfort, but are better for you in the long run, I promise!
1) This may be the most important thing you read in your entire adult life. It could change your life. Think of a friend. A trustworthy, honest friend. Preferably the level of honest you sort of wish they wouldn't be sometimes. Go to this friend privately and ask them, honestly, promising no backlash reguardless of the answer:
"Do you or have you ever noticed me ever having body odor?" Then follow it with "Was it an any circumstance other than right after playing basketball and right before getting into the shower?"
I know, you're laughing, thinking, "oh, awesome, this is an ironic humor sort of blog."
NO. It is not. It may be a long needed wake up call that will change your life! I know a LOT of handsome, 20 and even 30-something men with excellent personalities who have no idea that the primary reason they strike out with women is that their female friends dread standing too close to them in a conversation, muchless hugging them or dancing with them, which really can be such a waste because were it not for their olfactories, these gentlemen would be extremely attractive. I hate to say it, ladies- you can be guilty, too! I personally was blessed with a brutally honest family whom I live close to and see regularly, and I know (from experience) that I can trust them to point out to me if the brand of deodorant I'm using just isn't doing it's proper job any more.
Body odor doesn't reflect on you as a person, except when you neglect to address it! And unfortunately, it has been scientifically proven that we become immune to our own scent, and our own personal noses can not be trusted to determine whether it is a problem. It may simply be that your brand of deodorant no longer works as it once did, or that it never quite worked well enough. It may be that the showering and maintenance routine that you established in the 6th grade just isn't sufficient for your now post-pubescent sweat glands. It may be that your long-held belief that your wardrobe is good for at least 2 wears before getting washed is misinformed.
For your convenience, here is a quick list of basics for men:
- Shower no less than once a day- period. You do still sweat, even if you've literally just sat at the computer for the last 16 hours.
- Shower after working out, any activity in temperatures over 80 degrees Fahrenheit, or any strenuous activity lasting more than 10 minutes. Don't whine- y'all can be in and out of the shower in like, 2 minutes. This should not be taking away from your day substantially.
- I kind of can't believe I need to say this, but I know there are people out there who don't DO this: USE SOAP when you shower! Water alone ain't gonna do the job. If you don't like that, tough nuggets.
- Brush your teeth 2 to 3 times a day, once in the morning when you wake up (morning breath is gross), once before you go to bed, and at the very least suck a strong mint if not mouthwash after eating any meal consisting of garlic, onions, curries, and the like. If you're ever in a bind, chew and swallow the parsley that's garnishing your entree- that's actually it's purpose, to neutralize the strong favors in the meal.
- Before going to a social thing, particularly in the evening- at the very least, wipe your stinkiest areas down well with a clean, wet cloth ("Aggie Bath") and change your shirt- NOT just your top shirt- Change that undershirt! What good does it do to put a fresh pillowcase over a stinky pillow?
- Avoid the urge to "cover" body odor and other unpleasant smells with copious amounts of cologne- imagine tossing a bunch of freshly picked mint into the trash- it still smells like garbage, just.... minty garbage.
- Avoid copious amounts of cologne period! Do not be fooled into thinking that the amount of cologne applied in an Axe Body Spray commercial is a reasonable dose! Remember, they're selling the stuff- they want you to use ridiculous amounts of it so you'll buy more sooner. Two quick (I MEAN quick) sprays in an "X" motion from shoulders to hips across your abdomen should do the trick.
- CLEAN your COATS! I know you only wear it in cold weather, and it's not the same type of garment as other clothes, but it's still fabric and you still sweat. If it's washable, toss it in the laundry at least once a month during the season you wear it. If it's not washable, spend the $5 to get it dry cleaned, preferably once a month, no less than once every 2 months. I can't tell you what a wonder killer it is when an otherwise attractive, even decent-smelling guy loans me his coat only to have the coat smell like he hasn't washed it since he bought it 3 years ago.
For Women:
- Shower about once a day. We legitimately do sweat less than men, and we don't necessarily always need to shower more than once a day, and there are days in the winter, when it's cold and we haven't been active, that we legitimately can wait 36 hours between showers without it making much difference. I don't recommend you advertise this method, but it can be acceptable PROVIDED your deodorant WORKS. Don't let yourself be in denial about this.
- Easy tip- even during long winter months when you are the only person looking at or touching your legs, at the very least shave your ankles- save yourself anyone else accidentally glimpsing your laziness
- Change deodorant brands at least once a year- even if you just switch back and forth between two, it'll help prevent your body chemistry from adjusting to whatever brand you use over time
- Don't overdo the perfume- the less it costs, the more often you'll need to apply it, but don't try to compensate for it wearing off more quickly by putting on a larger quantity initially. Remember, the goal is for people to think you smell good, not your perfume. Also, on the outside chance that you have unique taste in perfumes, you won't offend or set off the allergies of every well-meaning friend who wants to give you a hug.
- Spritz a little perfume into your hair. Guys love a girl with nice smelling hair, and it's a subtle way to make people notice that you smell nice overall- not your perfume.
- Shave your pits every time you shower- just make it as much a part of the routine as soap- it takes like, 10 seconds and saves you the embarrassment of unexpectedly removing your cardigan or something because you spill something on it and flashing those prickles for all to see as you take it off.
- Wait at least 30 minutes after shaving your pits to apply deodorant- this will help prevent unsightly razor bumps
I'll do 2 more simple hacks, since #1 has made a long post all to itself
2) Check your teeth, always, after eating anything!
3) When removing your shoes in public, particularly if you are prone to smelly feet, start by taking your feet out of your shoes and then resting them right on top of the openings of the shoes, so that the smell dissipates in smaller doses at a slower rate, making it less noticeable than a sudden wave of stinky enveloping the 5 foot radius.
Tune in to the next Life Hacks for a breakdown of handshakes, hugs and more!
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